Work In Progress

I've been prodded to post so here we go. I actually started this blog to vent my everyday frustrations. But they come so fast I haven't had time to keep up.
When I created my title, "Am I Just Over Reacting" it was because members of family...mostly my mother has done some insane things that just blow my mind! So I wanted input as to if I was just over reacting or if she's crazy. Those I've shared my hardships with vote crazy.
I've never gotten along with her dare I say like her. But I was born in the 60's and raised through the 70's when you didn't talk about what went on behind closed doors. And social services .... I'm not sure it even existed. Bad thing were kept "with-in" the family. Sad for me. You see, by today's standards I be considered a victim of child abuse...physical and mental. I was beaten (or at least "spanked" very hard) on almost a daily. You've heard of having the belt taken to you, in my case it was what ever was handy at the time. Belts, tea towels (yes, when popped in the face repeatedly with one it hurts like hell!), wooden spoons, spatulas and hands nothing was off limits. She used her hands only when nothing else was readily available because it hurt her! Go figure! Mentally, all the yelling. Telling me how I didn't deserve to be here. How my sister was the better child, why couldn't I be like her. Thank God I wasn't and I am not! (Which I'll provide more insight to later). Telling me how she kill me if she could get away with, how she'd run the car into a telephone pole if it wouldn't hurt her and my sister. Gospel truth! However, abuse then was almost unheard of and never brought out in the open. Don't black-list the family. Especially in a small town.
I can remember as early as three years of age the abuse. The yelling, beatings the slamming of doors, etc. My dad, who was doing all he could to provide for his family, a wife, who put him down for everything he ever did and blamed him for all that was wrong (even after his death she still blames him for stuff, she's crazy I tell ya!) my sister (whom I've not spoken to in four years, which I'll get to in a later blog) and myself. So he wasn't home during the days and she didn't work. Then he went to work on the night shift. Not good for me. Abuse was easy. No witness. But as time went on I realized that I wasn't treat with love, care and nurture by my mother that I'd see her treat my sister with not the mention the way other mothers treated their own. Of course as adults we realize things are not always what they appear to be, but as a child I knew something was not right.

(hang with me....I'll leave you shaking your head at the the things to come.)